Conviction
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Do you ever get convicted?
I heard the story of a man who was forever tormented by the fact that he had cheated on his income tax return some years ago.
He had many sleepless nights over his ethical and legal lapse in judgment. Finally, he decided to write a personal letter to the IRS and fess up. The letter read something like this,
“Dear IRS, in a previous year I stated something on my tax return that was essentially not true. In light of that mistake and resulting underpayment of my taxes, please find enclosed a check in the amount of $500. If I cannot sleep tonight, and all indications are that I may not have a good night of sleep for an indefinite period of time, I’ll send you the rest.”
When you get convicted, what do you do about it?
-adapted from Pastor Jerry Thorpe, Granbury, TX
from a message at The Met, Keller, TX
Marriage
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A medical doctor who was skilled in nutrition was addressing an audience concerning the effects of the food that we put in our stomachs.
He said,
“The material we put into our stomachs in enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone tell me what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
After a few awkward and quite moments, one guy about 75 years old muttered, “Wedding cake.”
-adapted from “Humor in the Air”, Precision News,
July – September 2006 edition
Evil/Problem of
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Anything in your life you don’t understand?
Sylvester Stallone is a successful and rich movie star. He was 35 and had a huge hit with his film Rocky III. And then his world was turned upside down when his second son, Seargeoh, then 3, was diagnosed with autism, a psychological disorder.
“When I heard, I was violently angry,” Stallone said. “I didn’t understand why this would happen to my boy. I felt betrayed. If you have a bad hand to deal, give it to me, not to an innocent child. What purpose did it serve? Was my life too good? Is it something I did, some word I said?”
Stallone hesitated a moment and then said, “Seargeoh has no idea who I am. I’m just another person to him. You have to accept his love on his terms. There is nothing I can offer or buy or give my son that can help him. I feel I let my child down. I feel helpless, and I have to accept that.”
Some things have no real explanation this side of heaven.
-adapted from USA Weekend
MARRIAGE
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Things can get kind of interesting at home, can’t they?
The story is told of Paul and Kathy who approached a preacher about getting married. They attended the required sessions and the date was set.
While alone with the preacher, Paul pulled out a nice, crisp hundred dollar bill and pressed it into the preacher’s hand.
Paul said quietly, “Look, I’ll give you this hundred if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I promise to ‘love and honor’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I would appreciate it if you would just leave that part out of it.”
On the wedding day, Paul and Kathy were about to exchange vows. The preacher surprised Paul when he looked him square in the eyes and said, “Will you promise to lay your life down before her every day, obey her every command, serve her breakfast in bed every morning and promise eternally before God and before your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman so long as you both shall live?”
Paul sighed and coughed nervously, and realizing he had no choice finally said, “Yes.”
Paul then leaned over and whispered in the pastor’s ear, “Look, I thought we had a deal.”
The preacher whispered, “Yes, we did, but she made me a better offer.”
Then he handed the $100 back to Paul.
-adapted from unknown source by David Sylvester
MATERIALISM
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So do we have things or do things have us?
Actor Nicholas Cage who starred in such films as “Con Air”, recently speculated,
“I wonder if there is a hole in my generation. We’ve inherited the American Dream, but where do we take it. It’s not just about cars and wealth. It has to do with freedom. We’ll fight for freedom, but are we free in our thoughts, or are we paralyzed by our dreams of consumption?”
And Harrison Ford, star of several films as government CIA employee Jack Ryan who found himself battling the drug cartel in South America, and one of the most successful box office stars ever whose movies have raked in two billion dollars, recently told a journalist, “you only want what you ain’t got”.
When asked what he did not have, he shot back, “Peace”.
Christina Onassis said, “Happiness is not based on money, and the greatest proof of that is my family”. After saying that, she died suddenly probably as a result of years of tranquilizers and diet pills.
-adapted from Why Believe, by Greg Laurie, p. 3